Ephesians 5:21-33: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Last week we examined verse 21 where Paul said, Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. There is a sense in which each believer should submit to all other believers. That command doesn't mean that we obey the capricious whims of immature believers. Rather, it means that each believer must walk in the love of God toward the rest of the church. We should always look for opportunities to minister to our brothers and sisters in Christ, and to prefer them in the love of God.
This week I will focus on the specific command of Paul to wives to submit to your husbands as to the Lord. This teaching is quite controversial in today's western culture.
Paul likens the marital relationship to the relationship between Christ and the church. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. As the church submits to Christ, so a wife submits to her own husband. As Christ loves the church with a sacrificial love, so the husband loves his wife with a sacrificial love. The marital relationship is a model of the church operating in the love of God.
There is no way to deny the Biblical reality of God's intention for the wife to submit to her husband. Pauls says, So also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:24 NIV) Paul repeats the command in Colossians 3:18, Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (NIV)
Then Peter echoes the words of Paul in his writings. Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Peter states that a wife, who truly submits to her unbelieving husband, opens the door to win him to Christ by her behavior without the use of words. There is something about the love of God that never fails. He will be drawn to the love of God manifested in her life.
Last week I said, "To submit to one another in reverence of Christ, means to walk in love toward one another." Submission is primarily an attitude of love and service, which will be reflected in a wife always seeking the highest good for her husband. For a wife to submit to her husband will many times require her to obey his wishes, but not always.
A wife is under the authority or the headship of her husband, just as the church is under the authority of Christ. Christ is perfect, husbands are not. A husband never has the right or the authority in God to ask his wife to do something that would violate her conscience or the Word of God.
Suppose a husband instructed his wife to participate in his business of selling illegal drugs. Does Biblical submission require her to obey? What if a man instructed his wife to engage in sexual activity that is illegal or that is forbidden by the Word of God? Does Biblical submission require her to obey? Absolutely not! In these circumstances the wife must maintain an attitude of love and respect toward her husband, even if she chooses to obey God rather than him. (See Acts 4:18-20)
Unfortunately, in today's world there are many abusive husbands and fathers. At times it is necessary for a wife to remove herself and her children from the presence of her husband, because he has become a danger to the family.
Peter went on to say some other things, which are not popular in today's western culture, which is obsessed with beauty. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Peter is not giving a wife permission to look like an unkempt hag. Certainly, a woman wants to look good for her husband. Rather, Peter teaches that true beauty comes from the inside out. A woman, who reflects the glory and the presence of God, is much more attractive than a woman who is all "dolled up" but has no inner substance. The outer beauty fades, but there is that unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
Wives, you must decide, whether you want God's best for your marriage or not. If you want God's best, then you must submit to your husband, as to the Lord.
Here is the key question. Do you trust God or not? If you do trust God, then you will obey his Word. Faith pleases God. In faith determine to obey the instruction of the Word regarding submission. Your faith and obedience will open the door for God to perform mighty deeds in your life, in your marriage, and in your family!
Men, next week I will focus on God's command for you to love your wife as Christ so loves the church.
NOTE: Here is a link to some good resource material for couples who wish to enrich their marriage. The author is my good friend, Dr. Steve Johnson. Here is the link. Suggestions for Marital Healing.
Wayne L. Williams
wayne@fotwm.org
Wisdom From the Word
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