Ephesians 5:21-33: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Paul commanded wives to submit to their husbands, as the church submits to Christ. This week I want to examine the command of Paul to husband to love their wives, even as Christ loves the church.
The marriage relationship was established by God in the book of Genesis before man sinned. The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18 NIV)
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of man's ribs and closed up the flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:20b-24 NIV)
God created Adam and God knew that Adam needed a companion. I think the manner that God chose to create this special companion for Adam is significant. God chose to perform the first surgery. He put Adam to sleep, and he removed a rib from Adam's side. God took this rib and created Eve. Certainly, God could have created Eve without using Adam's rib, but in taking Adam's rib, God demonstrates from the very beginning that God intends for his man to sacrifice for his wife, and that they are to stand together side by side.
To have a godly marriage a man must give of himself sacrificially. Paul echoes this point in Ephesians 5. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (Ephesians 5:25-27 NIV)
Husbands, love your wives as Christ so loved the church. Christ gave himself up for the church, so that he might present to himself a radiant church without stain or blemish. Christ wants the church to reach her full potential, and to mature fully in him.
The husband is a steward with the responsibility to help his wife reach her full potential in God. The husband must perform the necessary actions of sacrificial love. Jesus did the following, among other things:
So, husbands you must love your wife in this manner. The only way to obey this command is through the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will help a husband gently love his wife, and help her to reach her place of fullness in God.
- He shed his blood for our redemption from sin.
- He sent the Holy Spirit to lead, comfort and teach the church.
- He put ministry gifts in the church (See Ephesians 4:11-16) to help the church reach her full potential.
In verses 28-29 Paul says, In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.
Just as a man works to provide for the needs of his own body, so he must provide for the needs of his wife. He must love his wife even as he loves his own body.
In the grace of God, the husband must provide for his wife in the following areas:
Obviously, a man isn't God. He can't meet all of these needs by himself. But the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. Therefore, the husband is responsible before God to see that the needs of his wife are met appropriately.
- Provide for her physical needs.
- Provide for her emotional needs.
- Provide for her spiritual needs.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (Ephesians 5:31 NIV)
In the verse above Paul quotes the passage from Genesis. I believe that this verse reveals an important principle to successful marriage. A man should always honor his parents. However, when a man marries, his wife becomes his relationship of first priority. His responsibility to God is first for his wife. He leaves his family, and with his wife, creates a new family. He is to be united with her, or as the King James Version says, he is to "cleave" to his wife. This principle of leaving, and cleaving, is of the utmost importance.
Men, your wife needs to know that she is more important to you than any other relationship, other than your relationship with God. You are united with her to the point of becoming one flesh.
In summary, a husband must:
Sometimes men view the teaching about the submission of wives to their husbands with glee. A man treats his wife as a household servant. As you can see, nothing could be further from the truth.
- Love his his wife, even as Christ loved the church, giving himself for her to help her to reach her full potential in God.
- Love his wife as his own body, taking responsibility to see that her every physical, emotional, and spiritual need is met.
- Leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, recognizing her as his earthly relationship of first priority.
Men, these intructions seem impossible to obey, but with God's help, we can grow in the Word of God and become more effective in truly loving our wives. It is an investment which pays huge dividends.
Wayne L. Williams
wayne@fotwm.org
Wisdom From the Word
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